Last night, I rounded out the interviews from the Brooks side of my family with my cousin Eddie and his wife Jenn. Eddie is my mom's next oldest sister's oldest son (got that...and yes, I have a Cousin Eddie), and he works as a kitchen manager at Red Hot & Blue in Raleigh. Jenn works as a marketing manager for a market research office. Their daughter, Olivia, will be 15 months old on February 3rd.
How did y'all meet?
Jenn: Plenty of Fish! (Yay Plenty of Fish! That's how Elizabeth and I met!). We both worked a lot, so we decided to try online dating. And we started by talking about our cats.
Eddie: Yup, we were both managers and both had cats...and it went from there.
Jenn: Our first meal was a chicken parmesan that he made for me. We flipped over a tote at my apartment because I didn't have any furniture at the time because I had just moved in and was single, and that was our table!
Was having children something you always wanted?
Eddie: Definitely, I've always wanted to be a father, it's something I've always told my friends and family.Jenn: Absolutely. It took years for it to happen for us. But when we finally stopped trying, the Lord blessed us on his time.
How did you pick Olivia's name?
Eddie: This is for Jenn...
Jenn (laughing): He had no say in it. Before we got married we had our names picked out, and Olivia was always the girls name. But when we found out about her heart we had to keep faith that things were going to be ok, and that's how she got her middle name. Olivia Faith.
Jenn: I got diagnosed with diabetes, so as a precaution we got an echo cardiogram. One of the side effects when the mother has diabetes is a heart condition for the infant. I remember that first appointment, I went on my own because I didn't think it was anything, it was just a precaution. But the technicians in the room were really quiet and they couldn't answer any of the questions that I had. The doctor came in after awhile and said "Ok, Ms. Brooks, I do see an issue with her heart."
She started using all these big words that went in one ear out the other. All I heard over and over again was "something wrong with her heart." I broke down, and they actually had to call Eddie to come get me.
Eddie: I couldn't understand her on the phone because she was so upset.
The doctors had diagnosed Olivia with Tetralogy of Fallot, which was the same condition made famous by Jimmy Kimmel after his son was born. In fact, the local news heard about Olivia's treatment for it after Jimmy's story broke and did a segment about her (which can be found here).
Jenn: After they diagnosed me I immediately went online. The doctors had warned me to go to the American Heart Association website only, because the other sites would scare me. And I found out that there was a 98% success rate for treatment. I joined a blog about it and started to research it so we was ready for it.
Olivia had to have open heart surgery at 4 months old. What was that like as a new parent?
Eddie: That was really scary. It was just all completely out of control.
Jenn: I will never forget walking into that room after her surgery and she's just there moaning. There were tubes hooked up to her, drainage tubes running off every which way. And there was nothing that I could do. I was totally powerless.
You have to put it in God's hands at that point. It's just amazing now, because I never thought we'd get through it when we were actually in it. But here we are and she's doing great. That's what I'm thankful for.
She just got cleared in September. We don't have to go back until March and that was huge. We were going back every four weeks, so this was a big deal. They just have to continue to monitor it. She might have a minor procedure later on but nothing big. The hard stuff is behind us.
What was it like the first time you held Olivia?
Jenn: It was a c-section, and it was very chaotic because of the heart issue. The NICU team was there and there were a few more additional people in there than there normally would be.
Eddie:We had to kinda wait a little bit before we could hold her because of everything going on with her.
Jenn: But when we finally did it just took my breath away. I will never forget that feeling of her being placed on my chest and she was breathing on her own. Her heart was fine at birth, and actually we weren't prepared for it because we thought we weren't going to get that chance. It was a surprise to us that we got to hold her so quickly.
Eddie: I was on cloud nine. I'm sitting there and I'm holding my own child, it felt so good. Just unconditional love.
What has been the most rewarding thing about being a parent?
Jenn: Watching her learn because babies with heart defects usually have delays in their milestones. She lost a good three months because of it. Now she's just springing up and coming out of her shell. She's doing therapy and she's crawling on all fours. She's learn new things, I just love it.
Eddie: I would have to say the same thing. Seeing something new with her every day is rewarding. Just being that parent and teaching her those things. Because I work at night, I get to stay home with her during the day. The fact that I get to be a Mr. Mom during the day is a reward for me.
Jenn: Eddie takes her to story time at the library and there's other dads there too. Eddie will get so excited because he goes into it with other people to talk too. Sometimes I get jealous of that because he's home with her during the day and I work during the day, so I only get to see her a little bit before she goes to bed.
What has been the most frustrating thing about being a parent?
Eddie: Maybe from my end sometimes I know that we both get tired. Trying to switch out of our routines or change hands, it can be tough juggling everything. There's times where I have to make delays in my schedule to work around Jenn and Olivia's and that can be stressful.
Jenn: Sometimes I forget we're a married couple because so much revolves around being a parent, and it's not about being a couple. You still have to be a husband and a wife and not a mommy and a daddy. But it's hard to have a movie night or a date night when there's no family around. I'm learning that I have to put trust in some people.
But, we do make it work. Every Wednesday is family day, even though we work and have everything else going on we make Wednesday our day. And you look at her face in the backseat and you know you've done something right. She's just the light in our life.
Eddie: I'm just waiting for that day where she looks up and says "Daddy, I love you." That's going to be a great day.
Any last words of wisdom?
Jenn: You learn as you go and you pray you get it right. I've learned so much over the last 15 months. I've learned more than at any other point in my life. You have to live in the moment and don't sweat the small stuff.
Eddie: Me being Mr. Mom, you can ask Jenn that this is my kryptonite. One day I'm dressing Olivia, and I pick out this cute outfit, and it turns out to be her pajamas. I'm still learning!
Jenn: At least she had clothes on!
Jenn and Eddie have taken a situation that could have broken another family and turned into something positive. I can't imagine having to watch your daughter go through something like that, especially when they're so small or when you have no control of the situation. The two of them, however, handled it with grace, patience, and perseverance, and Olivia will end up just fine thanks in large part to their attitude. I've said in earlier posts that I judge how parents are doing by how happy their child appears to be. Olivia is always smiling from ear to ear, so I can only take that as a sign that Jenn and Eddie are truly doing a great job.
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